“We will be experiencing some turbulence”

It all started at Incheon International Airport. Before boarding my flight I purchased an overpriced bottled water because, ya know, gotta stay hydrated on those long flights. The usual routine for me.

face-with-no-good-gesture.pngStrangely as I was boarding the flight there was a secondary security checkpoint in the jet bridge (that tunnel you walk in before you board the plane). It was there that I was told I couldn’t take my bottled water on the flight. Why? WHAT? I bought it past the ~official~ security checkpoint! No point in arguing, though. So I had half a bottle left and I thought…okay I mean I spent the money so I might as well drink the rest of it. MISTAKE.

The first hour or so of the flight was fine we were served a meal and everything was peachy keen. Then the turbulence began.

Something along the lines of

“We will be experiencing some turbulence. We ask that you remain seated while the fastened seatbelt light is illuminated.”

came over the intercom in a stern voice. They shouldn’t have said “ask” because it was more of a demand.

The turbulence was no joke and the lights even flickered in the cabin every now and then. I wouldn’t have been surprised if our luggage had flown out mid-flight. Everyone looked around at each other several times to see if anyone was concerned (Spoiler: we all were). A few people tried to get up to use the restroom but the flight attendants quickly told them that they needed to return to their seats.

KU6K3d82 hours later – I GOTTA…. USE THE “FACILITIES”. That damn water that I chugged was making itself known. Of course, now that we had all been forced to be seated for hours, after being served a meal other passengers had to use the restroom as well. That is when I had to begin strategizing my plan of action during the impending stampede of restroom goers. We were no longer passengers, we were competition. Luckily I had an aisle seat so I wouldn’t have to trample anyone.

FINALLY that light went off and you best believe I booked it. I RAN back to the restroom with reckless abandon. I was SO happy to be in an airplane lavatory (how many times can you say that?).  So I’m finally in the restroom and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, then the turbulence returns.

“This is your captain speaking. Get to your seats NOW!”

I thought I was gonna die in an airplane bathroom, right then and there. The lights went out in the restroom. I mean there are ways to go and then there are ways to GO. And of course, since I had to REALLY use the….again I say “facilities”, there was no way I could rush things. At least I knew there would be nobody waiting outside the door since the flight attendants probably corralled them to their seats, or a hole had formed in the cabin and they all flew out. Most likely, not the latter.

The turbulence continued for a few more hours and I was glad that I took the opportunity to  go when I did.

I have never looked at bottled water the same way since then.

Ad astra per aspera,

-Jeffrey

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